God’s Original Blueprint for Marriage (part 4) Questions and Answers

God’s Original Blueprint for Marriage (part 4)
Questions and Answers
3.23.2025

1 Corinthians 7 – The Passion Translation.

Success in marriage is based on your being willing for the rest of your life to give up every part of single thinking.

Questions sent in anonymously:

What do you do when your spouse keeps talking about how they don’t know why they got married , and they stated they want a divorce a couple of times but did not really explain why. What do we do about disagreements about the wife’s job and about finances in general? And what about significant debt that was brought into the marriage? Who is responsible for it?

Go see someone for some one on one ministry!

My staff team, and we have excellent Christian counselors in the area.

1. Talk to your pastor or his team before you marry.
2. Divorce does not solve problems. It’s not a “problem marriage.” It’s two people who brought their personal sin and dysfunction into the marriage.
3. You are one. Your debt becomes our debt. Your money becomes our money.
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

1 Peter 3:1-2 (NLT)
Wives
Submission
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)
Husbands
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)
A Word to Husbands
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Question for singles for marriage series from Pastor Mitch,

Can you please talk about single women and men going after Married men and women?

If you are single and you are a christian, you should only date solid christians, not pseudo Christians. And you have no business courting adultery by talking closely to a married person much less dating them.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (TPT)
The Temple of the Living God
14 Don’t continue to team up with unbelievers in mismatched alliances, for what partnership is there between righteousness and rebellion? Who could mingle light with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and Satan? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What friendship does God’s temple have with demons? For indeed, we are the temple of the living God, just as God has said: I will make my home in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. 17 For this reason, “Come out from among them and be separate,” says the Lord. “Touch nothing that is unclean, and I will embrace you. 18 I will be a true Father to you, and you will be my beloved sons and daughters,” says the Lord Yahweh Almighty.

If you are married, you should NOT have friendships with the opposite sex that are not also friends with your spouse.

If you are single and you are “going after a married person” you are in sin!

If you are separated and not divorced, you should not date until the divorce is final, and papers are signed. You are still married during that time! Honor God by keeping your conscience clean.

How do I pray for God to give me a spouse?

Read 1 Corinthians 7!
If you cannot be joyful as a single, you will never be happy as a married person.

1 John 5:14-15 (NLT)
And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. 15 And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.

Is it not correct for the man to find the woman and not the woman seeking to find a man?

Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the LORD.

Stop trying so hard!

Is it ok to live with a boyfriend and girlfriend before marriage.

Why is it a sin to have sex before marriage?

1 Corinthians 6:18 (AMP)
Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written]. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (AMP)
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have [received as a gift] from God, and that you are not your own [property]? 20 You were bought with a price [you were actually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and made His own]. So then, honor and glorify God with your body.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (NLT)
3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. 6 Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8 Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 (PHILLIPS)
3-8 God’s plan is to make you holy, and that entails first of all a clean cut with sexual immorality. Every one of you should learn to control his body, keeping it pure and treating it with respect, and never regarding it as an instrument for self-gratification, as do pagans with no knowledge of God. You cannot break this rule without in some way cheating your fellow-men. And you must remember that God will punish all who do offend in this matter, and we have warned you how we have seen this work out in our experience of life. The calling of God is not to impurity but to the most thorough purity, and anyone who makes light of the matter is not making light of man’s ruling but of God’s command. It is not for nothing that the Spirit God gives us is called the Holy Spirit.

How do you know the person is the right one?

Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV)
14 Where there is no counsel, the people fall;
But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

Proverbs 16:3 (AMP)
3 Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.

Proverbs 20:27 (AMP)
27 The spirit of man [that factor in human personality which proceeds immediately from God] is the lamp of the Lord, searching all his innermost parts.

The more physical a dating relationship becomes, the more difficult it becomes to know if the person is right for you.

If your family or other trusted people are questioning your relationship with someone, so should you!

Is it ok for an ex- spouse, ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, to still talk to my husband?

No!

Former relationships need to be cut! Ditch being Facebook friends, Instagram friends, Snapchat friends, etc, with previous relationships after marriage.

Texting former lovers must stop!

Is it ok if other women or men try to talk to your spouse and hit on them in front you while you are standing there, and they say nothing when the spouse addresses the issue and say that you are being jealous?

Speak up and speak clearly! This person is not serious about their marriage.

What can you do if the husband or wife looks at other women or men and the spouse sees them do it and they deny they are doing it in front of you?

This person has a lust problem. Are they viewing porn?

Pornography deadens the conscience and ruins marriage.

Matthew 5:27-29 (NLT)
Jesus Teaches about Lust
27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

What to do if the husband or wife wants you to do something in the bedroom that is against the Bible and your religious beliefs, and makes you feel uncomfortable? They keep saying that according to the Bible you should comply.

Everything a married couple does together at home and otherwise should have the full agreement of both of them.

Amos 3:3 – How can two walk together unless they agree?

Is it ok for a spouse to pressure their spouse to work outside the home if the spouse has a disability? Is it ok for a spouse to keep harping about you getting a job and helping financially when you are doing as much as you can with temporary work from home that is often short contracts that must be entered into over and over again?

Marriage is a 100/100 relationship. You commit to God and to each other 100% of yourself, and seek to work together. You are not competing with each other, you are working together.

What do I do when your spouse blames you for things that happen that are not your fault and out of your control . For example, you lose your job due to no fault of your own, like being laid off. In addition, the spouse blames you for not trying or they say that you don’t want to work?

I sense here a person who has come from a challenging home environment.

Selfishness, lack of communication, and lack of interpersonal skills here are hindering you.

Get some help from your church staff team or a Christian counselor.

What does the Bible say about men being head of the household? Women are the helpmate. Does it matter how much money the wife makes? What if the husband makes more than the wife but the husband wants the wife to make more money or prefers her to make more than he does because of her education.

Financial problems are a major source of marriage disagreement.

Each person in the relationship needs to show a commitment of doing their best to earn income and to help financially by abiding by a budget.

Budget, tithe, save, and talk!

The next question has to do with boundaries.

The most important relationship in your life after Jesus is your marriage!

Is it ok for the blended family due to a previous marriage or divorce to have children, yet the children of the previous relationship still have not met the new spouse or their children who are adults?

When married, after your relationship with Jesus, the marriage relationship becomes the most important relationship in your life!

Should one spouse stop pursuing their dream or career if the other doesn’t & won’t support said dream or goal?

Take time – talk it out, pray – Susan and me, Tulsa, here, 1994

If a man is a polygamist and accepts Christ, should he divorce and be left with 1 wife? (my grandfathers on both sides were polygamous and this now is an acceptable law in Kenya).

God will deal with a believer in this situation – Lester Sumrall

3. As long as I can remember, I have never wanted any children of my own. Don’t misunderstand me, I love children to death and greatly enjoy them but again, I don’t want any. However, I would like to get married someday. Am I wrong?

Discuss this before you marry!

In America, we have in many ways become self centered . Everything has become what I want, not what glorifies God and is best for others or the other person.

Mark 8:34-35 (NLT)
34 Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. 35 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.

J.B. Phillips Translation
Then he called his disciples and the people around him, and said to them, “If anyone wants to follow in my footsteps, he must give up all right to himself, take up his cross and follow me. The man who tries to save his life will lose it; it is the man who loses his life for my sake and the Gospel’s who will save it.