God’s Original Blueprint for Marriage (part 4)
Questions and Answers
3.23.2025
1 Corinthians 7 – The Passion Translation.
Success in marriage is based on your being willing for the rest of your life to give up every part of single thinking.
Questions sent in anonymously:
What do you do when your spouse keeps talking about how they don’t know why they got married , and they stated they want a divorce a couple of times but did not really explain why. What do we do about disagreements about the wife’s job and about finances in general? And what about significant debt that was brought into the marriage? Who is responsible for it?
Go see someone for some one on one ministry!
My staff team, and we have excellent Christian counselors in the area.
1. Talk to your pastor or his team before you marry.
2. Divorce does not solve problems. It’s not a “problem marriage.” It’s two people who brought their personal sin and dysfunction into the marriage.
3. You are one. Your debt becomes our debt. Your money becomes our money.
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
1 Peter 3:1-2 (NLT)
Wives
Submission
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.
1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)
Husbands
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)
A Word to Husbands
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Question for singles for marriage series from Pastor Mitch,
Can you please talk about single women and men going after Married men and women?
If you are single and you are a christian, you should only date solid christians, not pseudo Christians. And you have no business courting adultery by talking closely to a married person much less dating them.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (TPT)
The Temple of the Living God
14 Don’t continue to team up with unbelievers in mismatched alliances, for what partnership is there between righteousness and rebellion? Who could mingle light with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and Satan? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What friendship does God’s temple have with demons? For indeed, we are the temple of the living God, just as God has said: I will make my home in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. 17 For this reason, “Come out from among them and be separate,” says the Lord. “Touch nothing that is unclean, and I will embrace you. 18 I will be a true Father to you, and you will be my beloved sons and daughters,” says the Lord Yahweh Almighty.
If you are married, you should NOT have friendships with the opposite sex that are not also friends with your spouse.
If you are single and you are “going after a married person” you are in sin!
If you are separated and not divorced, you should not date until the divorce is final, and papers are signed. You are still married during that time! Honor God by keeping your conscience clean.
How do I pray for God to give me a spouse?
Read 1 Corinthians 7!
If you cannot be joyful as a single, you will never be happy as a married person.
1 John 5:14-15 (NLT)
And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. 15 And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.
Is it not correct for the man to find the woman and not the woman seeking to find a man?
Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the LORD.
Stop trying so hard!
Is it ok to live with a boyfriend and girlfriend before marriage.
Why is it a sin to have sex before marriage?
1 Corinthians 6:18 (AMP)
Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written]. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (AMP)
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have [received as a gift] from God, and that you are not your own [property]? 20 You were bought with a price [you were actually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and made His own]. So then, honor and glorify God with your body.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (NLT)
3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. 6 Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8 Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
1 Thessalonians 4:3 (PHILLIPS)
3-8 God’s plan is to make you holy, and that entails first of all a clean cut with sexual immorality. Every one of you should learn to control his body, keeping it pure and treating it with respect, and never regarding it as an instrument for self-gratification, as do pagans with no knowledge of God. You cannot break this rule without in some way cheating your fellow-men. And you must remember that God will punish all who do offend in this matter, and we have warned you how we have seen this work out in our experience of life. The calling of God is not to impurity but to the most thorough purity, and anyone who makes light of the matter is not making light of man’s ruling but of God’s command. It is not for nothing that the Spirit God gives us is called the Holy Spirit.
How do you know the person is the right one?
Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV)
14 Where there is no counsel, the people fall;
But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 16:3 (AMP)
3 Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.
Proverbs 20:27 (AMP)
27 The spirit of man [that factor in human personality which proceeds immediately from God] is the lamp of the Lord, searching all his innermost parts.
The more physical a dating relationship becomes, the more difficult it becomes to know if the person is right for you.
If your family or other trusted people are questioning your relationship with someone, so should you!
Is it ok for an ex- spouse, ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, to still talk to my husband?
No!
Former relationships need to be cut! Ditch being Facebook friends, Instagram friends, Snapchat friends, etc, with previous relationships after marriage.
Texting former lovers must stop!
Is it ok if other women or men try to talk to your spouse and hit on them in front you while you are standing there, and they say nothing when the spouse addresses the issue and say that you are being jealous?
Speak up and speak clearly! This person is not serious about their marriage.
What can you do if the husband or wife looks at other women or men and the spouse sees them do it and they deny they are doing it in front of you?
This person has a lust problem. Are they viewing porn?
Pornography deadens the conscience and ruins marriage.
Matthew 5:27-29 (NLT)
Jesus Teaches about Lust
27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
What to do if the husband or wife wants you to do something in the bedroom that is against the Bible and your religious beliefs, and makes you feel uncomfortable? They keep saying that according to the Bible you should comply.
Everything a married couple does together at home and otherwise should have the full agreement of both of them.
Amos 3:3 – How can two walk together unless they agree?
Is it ok for a spouse to pressure their spouse to work outside the home if the spouse has a disability? Is it ok for a spouse to keep harping about you getting a job and helping financially when you are doing as much as you can with temporary work from home that is often short contracts that must be entered into over and over again?
Marriage is a 100/100 relationship. You commit to God and to each other 100% of yourself, and seek to work together. You are not competing with each other, you are working together.
What do I do when your spouse blames you for things that happen that are not your fault and out of your control . For example, you lose your job due to no fault of your own, like being laid off. In addition, the spouse blames you for not trying or they say that you don’t want to work?
I sense here a person who has come from a challenging home environment.
Selfishness, lack of communication, and lack of interpersonal skills here are hindering you.
Get some help from your church staff team or a Christian counselor.
What does the Bible say about men being head of the household? Women are the helpmate. Does it matter how much money the wife makes? What if the husband makes more than the wife but the husband wants the wife to make more money or prefers her to make more than he does because of her education.
Financial problems are a major source of marriage disagreement.
Each person in the relationship needs to show a commitment of doing their best to earn income and to help financially by abiding by a budget.
Budget, tithe, save, and talk!
The next question has to do with boundaries.
The most important relationship in your life after Jesus is your marriage!
Is it ok for the blended family due to a previous marriage or divorce to have children, yet the children of the previous relationship still have not met the new spouse or their children who are adults?
When married, after your relationship with Jesus, the marriage relationship becomes the most important relationship in your life!
Should one spouse stop pursuing their dream or career if the other doesn’t & won’t support said dream or goal?
Take time – talk it out, pray – Susan and me, Tulsa, here, 1994
If a man is a polygamist and accepts Christ, should he divorce and be left with 1 wife? (my grandfathers on both sides were polygamous and this now is an acceptable law in Kenya).
God will deal with a believer in this situation – Lester Sumrall
3. As long as I can remember, I have never wanted any children of my own. Don’t misunderstand me, I love children to death and greatly enjoy them but again, I don’t want any. However, I would like to get married someday. Am I wrong?
Discuss this before you marry!
In America, we have in many ways become self centered . Everything has become what I want, not what glorifies God and is best for others or the other person.
Mark 8:34-35 (NLT)
34 Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. 35 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.
J.B. Phillips Translation
Then he called his disciples and the people around him, and said to them, “If anyone wants to follow in my footsteps, he must give up all right to himself, take up his cross and follow me. The man who tries to save his life will lose it; it is the man who loses his life for my sake and the Gospel’s who will save it.
God’s Original Blueprint for Marriage (part 3)
What is the wife’s role in the marriage?
3.9.2025
Review
February 23 – Cultural Norms That Conflict With God’s Will
Marriage as it has been defined for thousands of years is under attack.
When you dishonor marriage, you ruin a culture…
March 2 – What Does it Mean to be One Flesh?
The closeness designed for marriage is revealed in the creation of man.
God created male and female on the same day – all in one body!!
A great definition of marriage:
One man and one woman united spiritually, emotionally, physically, publicly and legally, in a lifetime bond of loyal love, for procreation, channeling sexual and emotional energy, and serving as a civilizing and stabilizing factor in society.
– I Never Thought I’d See the Day by David Jeremiah, p. 110
Today: What is the wife’s role in the marriage?
What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband?
How far does the wife’s submission go?
How does this fit in with women being equal in the workplace?
Galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Let’s talk for a moment about the woman’s place in marriage.
The backdrop for good relationships in general:
So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. (16) Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. (17) Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. (18) Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, (19) singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. (20) And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Nothing can take the place of a solid relationship with the Lord that fills us up inside and meets our needs for significance and love!
One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to develop your closeness with Jesus.
But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.
Motivations, attitudes, and ways of acting and reacting all change when we enter a close relationship with the Lord.
In fact, a relationship with Jesus brings with it a new way to love others, beginning with your spouse in your home!
1 John 3:14
We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death.
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Then Marriage and the husband wife responsibilities are mentioned:
Ephesians 5: 21-33 (NLT)
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (22) For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (23) For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. (24) As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
(25) For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her (26) to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. (27) He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. (28) In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. (29) No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. (30) And we are members of his body. (31) As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (32) This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. (33) So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Let’s look at this passage verse by verse:
(21) And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Before we can treat another person fairly, we must have the right opinion of ourselves – humility.
Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.
In the same way, you who are younger must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. (6) So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.
Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? (2) Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. (3) Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. (4) Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
Submitting to one another means keeping another person’s needs and desires in mind as you relate to them. Love puts another person’s needs and desires above your own!
In this next section of scripture, God shows wives as being responders and husbands as being aggressors.
(22) For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
There are two roles for the wife mentioned in Ephesians 5. Four verses mention the wife submitting and respecting.
(22) For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
(23) For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.
(24) As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
(33) So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Men need respect, affirmation, and praise
Women need love, and tender care.
A wife’s two roles in the marriage are to submit and respect.
A man’s role in the marriage is to be a lover, leader, and a provider.
So here in verse 22, Paul encourages wives to submit to their husbands.
Let’s talk about submission for a bit!
7 things to note about submission:
1. In the Bible, when God mentions the roles of authority and submission, He always addresses the one in submission first!
I believe God did this to emphasize the responsibility of submission regardless of the person in authority.
Eph. 5: 22-24 – Wives, then husbands.
Eph. 6: 1-4 – Children, then parents.
Eph. 6: 5-9 – Servants (employees) then masters (bosses).
1 Timothy 6: 1-2 – Slaves, then masters.
1 Peter 3: 1-7 – Wives, then husbands.
Genesis 3: 16-17 – Serpent, woman, then man.
2. Submission only works among equals.
Galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Notice again verse Ephesians 5:24:
(24) As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
We must ask then, how do we submit to Jesus?
It’s easy to submit to Jesus…
He has made us equal in position – not in function…
For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.
Jesus is the head of the church, and He has elevated us to sit beside Him!
And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
Similarly – Husbands and wives are equal in position, not function.
3. Submission is voluntary – never forced.
Jesus doesn’t force us – He asserts no authority that we do not willingly yield to Him.
Because of His love, we willingly submit.
A husband can never force his wife to submit to him.
A narcissist may force, but a husband that loves his wife will not!
4. Submission is an attitude of the heart!
Notice again Ephesians 5:24
As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
In everything, as long as it doesn’t violate the WORD
Ex – “Don’t go to church anymore.”
A wife’s first responsibility is to the Lord
Her second responsibility is to her husband…
5. Submission and obedience are not the same…
Obedience is outward – Submission is inward.
It’s possible to be submissive – yet not obedient to do something a husband asks to do that is wrong.
It’s possible to be obedient, yet passively rebellious…
6. How far does submission go?
Submission does not mean SILENCE!
If the wife disagrees, she should voice her opinion clearly, then leave the decision to her husband…
**Dissent without voice breeds anger and resentment…
7. Sarah – A Wife’s Example…
For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.
So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master—my husband—is also so old?”
Though submissive, Sarah was still free to voice her opinion to Abraham. AND GOD TOLD HIM TO LISTEN TO HIS WIFE!!
Genesis 16: 1-6 (NLT)
Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. (2) So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. (3) So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.) (4) So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. (5) Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!” (6) Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away.
Genesis 21: 9-12 (NLT)
But Sarah saw Ishmael—the son of Abraham and her Egyptian servant Hagar—making fun of her son, Isaac. (10) So she turned to Abraham and demanded, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son. He is not going to share the inheritance with my son, Isaac. I won’t have it!” (11) This upset Abraham very much because Ishmael was his son. (12) But God told Abraham, “Do not be upset over the boy and your servant. Do whatever Sarah tells you, for Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.
TRUE SUBMISSION IS THE SUBJECTION OF LOVE TO THE RULE OF LOVE!
Action points:
1. Human relationships work best when we are closely related to the Lord.
Open yourself everyday to Jesus by Bible reading and prayer.
Ask Him to help you be the best spouse for your husband or wife.
Ask God to help you deal with selfishness in your life.
The older you marry, the more selfish and set in your way you may become!
2. Seek to meet the needs in your spouse. Women need love. Men need
affirmation.
Wives – “You did a great job on…the yard, painting that room, planning the vacation, etc”
You’re a good man. I’m glad I married you.
Husband – tell your wife you love her. Show her by doing the dishes, taking out the trash, cleaning the house, giving her a break from the kids..
3. Submission works when people are viewed as equals; it can’t be forced,
and it is an attitude of the heart. True submission works when both
persons are free to express their views.
Respect each other’s opinions.
In a healthy relationship, solutions to disagreements should go both ways. In that way you submit to each other..l
When a last word is needed on decisions, let the husband have it as the head of the home.
Wives, don’t try to control your husbands. Jezebel controlled King Ahab in the OT (1 Kings 21:25)
Don’t be a doormat if you are in an abusive relationship. Love stands for what is right.
God’s Original Blueprint for Marriage (part 2)
What does it mean to be One Flesh?
3.2.2025
Review
Hebrews 13:4 (TPT)
Honor the sanctity of marriage and keep your vows of purity to one another, for God will judge sexual immorality in any form, whether single or married.
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the LORD.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Marriage as it has been defined for thousands of years is under attack.
When heterosexual marriage is dishonored, a culture will fail.
Marriage is the foundation for family life and the training of children.
A great definition of marriage:
One man and one woman united spiritually, emotionally, physically, publicly and legally, in a lifetime bond of loyal love, for procreation, channeling sexual and emotional energy, and serving as a civilizing and stabilizing factor in society.
– I Never Thought I’d See the Day by David Jeremiah, p. 110
How bright is the light in your home?
Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
*If the Word of God does not affect your marriage and family life, then you will not change your world or have an impact on those around you.
The light in you shines no brighter than it does in your home.
Today:
What Does it Mean to be One Flesh in Marriage?
The closeness designed for marriage is revealed in the creation of man.
God created male and female on the same day – all in one body!!
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
Verse 26 is referring to the creation of the body from the ground.
Make:
Hebrew – asah
To make from already existing material
Verse 27 is referring to the creation of the spirit of man…
created
Hebrew – bara
To create something out of nothing!
The spirit and soul of both Adam and Eve was in Adam on the day when he was created!
Notice Genesis 2:7
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life (Hebrew – plural – lives); and man became a living being.
Inside of Adam was the spirit and soul of the woman! Adam had a male body, but the spiritual essence of both male and female was within him.
This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; 2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.
Adam and Eve’s spirits were created on the same day.
Adam’s body was created on the sixth day of creation. It is not known how long afterward Eve’s body was created.
Inside of him was them!
Why did God do this? He wanted a closeness in marriage not found in any part of creation.
The Creation of the Woman’s body
Genesis 2:18-20
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
God took more than the rib out of Adam. He also took the spirit and soul of the woman out of him!
God made women different from any other created thing!
Animals and Adam were made directly from the ground, but the woman came out of Adam’s side.
Matthew Henry – Bible Commentator
“She was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”
(from The Bible Exposition Commentary: Old Testament © 2001-2004 by Warren W.Wiersbe. All rights reserved.)
Why did God take the woman out of the man instead of directly from the ground?
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
The woman came from the man’s body because their relationship was to be different from any other relationship in all of creation.
God wanted the marriage relationship to be more than a body to body relationship. He wanted it to be a spirit, soul, and body relationship!
Adam had knowledge of Eve’s spirit and soul long before her body was created.
There is a spiritual bond between husband and wife not found anywhere else in creation.
Our culture puts the sexual relationship first.
Don’t fall in love with the body; fall in love with the person in the body first!
The morality of marriage
God took one rib from Adam and made one woman. God planned that marriage consist of one man and one woman for life!
There is a sense of morality in marriage not found anywhere in the animal kingdom.
There is no such thing as immorality among animals – they have no morals.
Very few animals mate for life. Most have multiple mates.
But God planned that there be one man for one woman for life!
That’s the reason the woman was taken out of the man. That act created a special relationship called marriage!
When people are sexually promiscuous, it places the soul and body in a state of confusion. We were never created to mate like animals!
Proverbs 6:32
Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul.
In marriage, there is an analogy of Jesus and the church
God knew that Adam would sin and that one day Jesus would pay the price for his sin. The analogy of marriage helps us understand Jesus and the church.
The Old Testament sacrifices and priesthood all point to Jesus. And, the one flesh relationship in marriage points to Jesus Christ and His sacrifice for us!
In 1 Corinthians 15:45, Jesus is called the last Adam. He was born outside of the curse without sin.
Jesus carried the church within Him. Ephesian 1:4 says that we were chosen in Him from the foundation of the world!
Jesus carried the spirit and soul of the church in Him to the cross. There, His side was opened, and God began to build the body of Christ from the “rib” of Jesus. That body is still being built today.
God presented Eve to Adam, and one day we the bride of Christ will be presented to Jesus without spot or wrinkle! (Ephesians 5:27).
Perhaps the attack today on marriage is really a subtle attack on the Lord Jesus Himself, since marriage reflects His relationship to the church.
One flesh is designed by God to be the closest relationship known to a man or woman.
1 Corinthians 6:17 (AMPL)
But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him.
Don’t continue to think as a single person if you are married!
There is a similar change to how you live life as a married person, as there was when you came to Jesus!
As a believer, you do not think of living independently from Jesus. He is involved in all you do!
When I married Susan, there was a fundamental change! From then on, I could not live independently from her, for my time was not just mine but also hers.
I could not spend money independently any longer. What is mine is also hers.
We are One Flesh.
Action Points
- Do you value the sacredness of Marriage as the closest relationship possible between two people?
- Do you value the sacredness of sexual intimacy as an act only fulfilled within marriage?
- Marriage is worth working through your problems! Don’t give up on your spouse or yourself.
God’s Original Blueprint for Marriage (Part 1)
Cultural Norms That Conflict With God’s Will
2.23.2025
Introduction
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
Over the next few weeks, I want to talk about Marriage – God’s Original Blueprint For Marriage.
Today – Cultural Norms That Conflict With God’s Will.
Susan and I will be married for 46 years on September 22.
Marriage as it has been defined for thousands of years is under attack.
When you dishonor marriage, you ruin a culture…
The world has changed since we were married in 1979. But, our personal values have NOT changed.
In this series, we’re going to address the following questions:
What do you think about marriage?
If you are not married and want to be married, what in your mind makes a good marriage that lasts?
If you are married, how do you deal with differences that produce friction?
If you are divorced, what do you think God thinks about divorce? How do you deal with your children after divorce?
If you are married to a person who is not a Christian, how do you show them the change Jesus has brought into your life?
How do you make marriage a pleasant experience?
Why did God create the relationship called marriage in the first place?
Does God recognize same-sex marriage?
How do you solve problems that come up in marriage?
Email me your questions about marriage! Pastor@victorychurchraleigh.com
We’re going to cover:
The current cultural climate and then contrast that to what God says. (I have some quotes from the year we were married that are shocking).
What it means to be One Flesh
The Role of the Woman in the Home
The Role of the Man in the Home
The Glue That Keeps Marriage Together – Unconditional Love
Good Communication
Married to a Non-Christian?
Divorce, Remarriage, and the Bible
Sex – The Gauge of Your Marriage Closeness
Today:
The current cultural climate in contrast to what God says.
Marriage was God’s Idea.
God’s idea of marriage and family life is not:
-Two roommates sharing a house.
-Several ladies sharing an apartment.
-Several men sharing an apartment.
-A homosexual or lesbian couple sharing a house.
The world system has nothing to do with God’s value system.
It is controlled by the spirit of Antichrist and is anti morality,
anti monogamous marriage, anti self-control, anti long range
relational planning, and anti family!
The World system is based on atheism, evolution, relative
values, and amorality.
It is an AntiChrist system that leaves God and the Bible out of
human relationships!
God’s idea of family is based on the concept of
heterosexual marriage.
Hetero is from the Greek word Heteros which means
different or other.
15 The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. 16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden—17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
25 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
God NEVER created a male to marry a male, or a female to marry a female!
A great definition of marriage:
One man and one woman united spiritually, emotionally, physically, publicly and legally, in a lifetime bond of loyal love, for procreation, channeling sexual and emotional energy, and serving as a civilizing and stabilizing factor in society.
– I Never Thought I’d See the Day by David Jeremiah, p. 110
Marriage creates a family that is intended by God to be the incubator of human personality.
Think about it:
Young animals survive on their own in a few weeks or months – chicken/kitten/puppy.
A human baby is fed a few months by its mother and then must undergo years of training at home before that child is ready to go out on its own.
God’s original family plan included a male father and female mother creating a nurturing environment for human personality to grow and thrive.
Nothing can take the place of the home environment of a loving mother and father who nurture a child in an atmosphere of love.
The Shema
Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Mezuzah)
Malachi 2:15 (AMPC)
And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth.
Jesus was raised in a home with a mother and a father.
As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. 21 And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus,for he will save his people from their sins.”
When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.
Then he returned to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. And his mother stored all these things in her heart. 52 Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people.
If God knew that His incarnate Son needed to be raised in a family with a mom and a dad, then it must be really important!
God chose Abraham because He would raise His family to honor God.
Should I hide my plan from Abraham?” the Lord asked. 18 “For Abraham will certainly become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. 19 I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.”
The Revisionists’ Ideas of Marriage and Family Will Destroy America.
Before there was a nation, a government, or a church, there was a heterosexual marriage.
Without a family based on heterosexual marriage, there is no ability to pass values to the next generation.
Without the foundation of heterosexual marriage, there is no way to communicate values and discipline to children.
So, every generation carries the seeds of its own demise.
A quote from many years ago…
http://www.familypolicyinstitute.com/fpi/deathofmarriage.pdf
Louis P. Sheldon is the founder of the Traditional Values Coalition. He wrote an article many years ago entitled The Destruction Of Marriage Precedes The Death Of A Culture.
And I want to give you a few quotes from this article written many years ago.
In his 1979 book, Our Dance Has Turned To Death, Christian sociologist Carl W. Wilson outlined the dangers facing traditional marriage and the family in America’s increasingly sexualized culture. Wilson could clearly see what was going to happen to the American family if our society continued to be sex-saturated.
Wilson noted that history reveals that nations decline and eventually die when sexual immorality becomes rampant and the traditional family is discarded in favor of group sex, homosexuality, infidelity, and unrestrained sexual hedonism. He pointed to the writings of British anthropologist J. D. Unwin, whose 1934 book, Sex and Culture, chronicled the historical decline of numerous cultures. Unwin studied 86 different cultures throughout history and discovered a surprising fact: No nation that rejected monogamy in marriage and premarital sexual chastity lasted longer than a generation after it embraced sexual hedonism. Unwin stated it this way, “In human records there is no instance of a society retaining its energy after a complete new generation has inherited a tradition which does not insist on prenuptial and postnuptial continence.” [Or, self-control both before and after marriage].
Unwin found that nations that valued traditional marriage and sexual abstinence were creative and flourished. He described this as “cultural energy” that can only be maintained when sexual activities remain restricted within marriage.
Sociologist Pitirim Sorokin, in The American Sex Revolution, found essentially the same thing when he examined sexual immorality as it relates to cultural decline. Sorokin noted in the late 60’s that America was committing “voluntary suicide” through unrestrained sexual indulgence. He observed that as individuals began engaging in premarital sex unrelated to marriage, the birth rate would decline and our nation would be slowly depopulated. He predicted an increase in divorce, desertion, and an epidemic of sexual promiscuity resulting in a rise in illegitimate children. His predictions, unfortunately, have come true.
Sorokin’s study of decadent cultures convinced him that a healthy society can only survive if strong families exist and sexual activities are restricted to within marriage. Sexual promiscuity leads inevitably to cultural decline and eventual collapse.
Carl Wilson notes that decadent cultures display seven typical characteristics: Men reject spiritual and moral development as the leaders of families; men begin to neglect their families in search of material gain; men begin to engage in adulterous relationships or homosexual sex; women begin to devalue the role of motherhood and homemaker; husbands and wives begin to compete with each other and families disintegrate; selfish individualism fragments society into warring factions; and men and women lose faith in God and reject all authority over their lives. Soon, moral anarchy reigns. When the family collapses, the society soon follows.
If we do not learn from history, we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. And, once the decline begins, it will be very difficult to turn things around.
Marriage Definition:
Marriage is a Covenant We Make Before God to Give Another Person the Companionship They Need In Order To Prevent Loneliness.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
A covenant of companionship
To deliver you from the immoral woman, from the seductress who flatters with her words, 17 Who forsakes the companion of her youth, and forgets the covenant of her God.
Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
Marriage is a Covenant of Companionship.
It parallels our relationship to Jesus.
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
Action Points
- Make a decision to fight for your marriage!
- Talk to your children about the origin of marriage and why it is important.
- Pray for marriages.
- Do your ideas of marriage and God’s original intention for marriage agree?
Homosexual and lesbian marriage are doomed to failure.
- Do you see marriage as a covenant of companionship?
When Susan and I first married 46 years ago, we talked about problems that would
arise, and determined to never look to divorce as a solution to problems.
- If marriage is a model of Jesus’ relationship and commitment to the church, what do
I need to change in the way I treat my spouse?
What Does the Lord Require?
Sunday, February 16, 2025
Meera Short
I want to share with you today a simple passage in scripture that I believe is very relevant to us living the life that God has created us to live.
8 He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?
To require something according to Webster’s definition suggests the imperativeness that arises from inner necessity, compulsion of law or regulation, to claim or ask for by right and authority; to demand as necessary or essential. Simply put, it is to have an expectation, or a demand placed on someone. It may also imply that there may be some conditions or consequences placed when these said “requirements” are not met.
So, it is fair to say that in this passage of scripture, the Lord is saying to us, I am asking you and expecting you to do some things.
Three distinct directives are given to us in this passage of scripture.
1- Act Justly
2- Love Mercy
3- Walk Humbly
To Act Justly –
The meaning of just is tied to the biblical word righteousness. To be a just person means that I will conform myself to be a person who is morally upright. It means that my thoughts and actions will line up with doing things that are right and fair. The way that I respond to God will be with honor, reverence, and respect. The way that I treat others will be with moral integrity, honesty, and fairness. It means that I will be law abiding and responsible and that I will choose to do what is right in God’s eye.
If I were to call myself a “just person” and act justly, it would mean that I will walk with integrity, I will be honest, I will be morally upright in my actions, words, and my deeds.
If I have a biblical worldview, it means that I will seek to follow the requirements and the directives of God’s Word. It means that I will submit myself to something that is diametrically opposed to the way things are in our current culture. It means that my standard of living is set by the Word of God.
To Love Mercy –
From the Hebrew word “hesed” – meaning goodness, kindness, faithfulness. It’s speaking of a characteristic of God Himself. It is directly related to how we love our fellow men. Choosing to love others who are created in the expressed image of God by being good to them. Choosing to express kindness to others in the face of adversity, when it’s inconvenient, when we don’t feel like it, when it is unappreciated or rejected. It is remaining faithful and steadfast in the situation that tries and tests us. After all, has not God extended His goodness, kindness, and faithfulness to us?
For me to love mercy, it means that I would look for ways to respond with mercy and compassion toward others.
To Walk Humbly –
To walk humbly means that I would put away my need to be acknowledged and received and esteemed by others. It means that I would be submissive when I needed to be, and modest before God and others. A humble person is not a person who hates “on” themselves; it is not a self-condemning person. It is a person who thinks of themselves less and others more.
Practically living out these three directives:
1- Because God is just, we too must be just!
The word just is used over 421 times in the Bible. It is used as one of the attributes of God. He is the definition of all that is just, fair, and equitable. He is partial to no one and unbiased towards all. He is all that is perfect and true.
All throughout the Bible from the OT to the NT, we see so many stories of God’s just ways.
We can look back in the garden with the first man and woman and see that when they sinned, God showed that He was just. Before Adam and Eve sinned, God gave Adam instructions as to which tree he should not eat from (Gen 2:17). When Adam disobeyed, God had to execute discipline for this sin. If He didn’t do this, evil would continue in man forever, in that man would have been able to live forever. Justice is necessary in life.
Moses says in
“The Rock, His work is perfect, for all His ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is He.”
Deuteronomy 10:17 AMPC
For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, the terrible God, Who is not partial and takes no bribe.
Revelation 15:3 NKJV
They sing the song of Moses, the servant of God, and the song of the Lamb, saying: “Great and marvelous are Your works,
Lord God Almighty!
Just and true are Your ways,
O King of the saints!
Being people who are just and righteous in our actions, thoughts and attitudes towards others is a serious responsibility.
Scripture talks about when Jehoshaphat appointed judges to judge over God’s people
2 Chronicles 19:5-7 Message
And he was diligent in appointing judges in the land—each of the fortress cities had its judge. He charged the judges: “This is serious work; do it carefully. You are not merely judging between men and women; these are God’s judgments that you are passing on. Live in the fear of God—be most careful, for God hates dishonesty, partiality, and bribery.”
We must learn to do what is good, to seek out justice, and to correct things that are wrong. We are mandated to help the fatherless and the true widows. To help the poor and those who are oppressed. We must be people who search for truth in all situations.
Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke [a]the oppressor;[b]Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow.
Blessed are those who keep justice, And he who does righteousness at all times!
Zechariah 7: 9 AMPC
Thus has the Lord of hosts spoken: Execute true judgment and show mercy and kindness and tender compassion, every man to his brother;
Proverbs 21:3 Message
Clean living before God and justice with our neighbors mean far more to God than religious performance.
We are required as children of God to walk justly with others; to do and keep before us what is morally right. Just like Jesus did.
Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.
2- Because God is merciful, we too must show mercy!
When God exercised justice with Adam and Eve when they sinned, it was the first example of His mercy shown to us. He makes a better covering for them to cover their nakedness (Gen 3:21). When Cain sinned by killing his brother Abel, God again judged the sin. When God told Cain what the consequences for his sin would bring, Cain cried out to the Father and said this was too much to bear; he cried out to the Father that others would try to kill him. And Father God in His compassion, with His merciful heart, did something for Cain to protect him from being destroyed (Gen 4:13-15).
Lamentations 3:22-23 AMPC
It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
Being a just person gives us the ability to be merciful to others.
Zechariah 7:9 AMPC
Thus has the Lord of hosts spoken: Execute true judgment and show mercy and kindness and tender compassion, every man to his brother;
Jesus speaks to us about this.
Luke 6:36 AMPC
So be merciful (sympathetic, tender, responsive, and compassionate) even as your Father is [all these].
Matthew 5:7 AMPC
Blessed (happy, to be envied, and spiritually prosperous—with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy!
James the Elder writes to us:
James 2:13 Easy English Bible
God will not forgive anyone who has not forgiven other people. But God is kind! He judges us, but even more than that, he forgives us!
If I show mercy to others, I will receive mercy from God.
3- Jesus is humble, we too must be humble!
Charles Spurgeon ~ “I would not advise any of you to try to be humble, but to be humble. As to acting humbly, when a man forces himself to it, that is poor stuff. When a man talks a great deal about his humility, when he is very humble to everybody, he is generally a canting hypocrite. Humility must be in the heart, and then it will come out spontaneously as the outflow of life in every act that a man performs.”
Look at Jesus. He was entirely lowly and submissive to the Father’s will and plan. His entire human life, and choosing to lay down His life, had to do with thinking of the Father and reconciling us back into relationship with the Father. Remember, a truly just person will be merciful. Christ is our example.
Philippians 2:5-8 Message
Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.
Can we put aside our positions, our titles, our justification to be upset and get that last word in, can we put our rights aside and consider the needs of others above our own? Can we be okay if no one knows our name or acknowledges us? Can we be okay when no one sees us, and no accolades are given to us? Can we be okay with knowing that God sees us and knows us?
James 4:6 Living Bible
But he gives us more and more strength to stand against all such evil longings. As the Scripture says, God gives strength to the humble but sets himself against the proud and haughty.
The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, And before honor is humility.
Philippians 2:3-4 AMPC
3 Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves].4 Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others
We are to walk in humility with others, considering that we would be nothing without Jesus and His forgiveness. It’s this humbling of our heart that we will begin to look at others through the eyes of the Lord.
Another quote from Charles H Spurgeon ~ “True humility is thinking rightly of thyself, not meanly. When you have found out what you really are, you will be humble, for you are nothing to boast of. To be humble will make you safe. To be humble will make you happy. To be humble will make music in your heart when you go to bed. To be humble here will make you wake up in the likeness of your Master by-and-by.”
Moving Forward:
What are some areas that you may be compromising in that are unjust?
It could be as little as working for a restaurant and giving away free drinks without your employer’s permission. It could be stealing time from your company. We must choose to walk justly before God. Turning a blind eye towards the willful sin of others that you share responsibilities with. These are all unjust behaviors that if left unchecked will turn into major life challenges.
How can you be more merciful towards others?
Evaluate your compassion toward others when they have done something that you can’t get over. Consider the things God has delivered and forgiven you off.
How do you look at others? Do you look down on others? Do you show partiality towards others based on their social status?
Think on how you engage others. Do you change how you behave and talk from one group to another, with one person or another? Consider how you feel when you are right about something, or when someone knows more than you. These are little things that can make a big difference inwardly.
Proverbs 6:16-19 AMPC
16 These six things the Lord hates, indeed, seven are an abomination to Him:17 A proud look [the spirit that makes one overestimate himself and underestimate others], a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that manufactures wicked thoughts and plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, 19 A false witness who breathes out lies [even under oath], and he who sows discord among his brethren.
We must be diligent to pursue what pleases God!
A God-Honoring Life
Tough Love
2.9.2025
Introduction
The love of God is the baseline that is to rule all of our personal interaction.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
We are to act and respond in love…
The Love of God is not something we feel, it’s something that we do.
Do the loving thing…
We all are imperfect in this. All of us. No exceptions.
Spiritual growth is seen in how we handle relationships. And in how we deal with challenging personal relationship situations.
Spiritual growth is shown not in how we deal with the people we get along with, but how we deal with people who mistreat us, take advantage of us, or do things that rub us the wrong way!
A couple of weeks ago I talked about loving our enemies.
Last week we began talking about the other side of love.
Because God loves us, He corrects us!
No one will love you the way God does, and no one will shoot straight with you like He does either!
And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you.
6 For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” 7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. 9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? 10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
In our relationships, there is a place for tough love.
vs 6 – Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
The Amplified Bible
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Yes, love is kind and caring, but love must also confront when another person’s actions hurt others.
When we are persecuted for being a believer, we turn the cheek, we love our enemy.
But when someone’s actions harm others, we must speak up!
Love stands for what is right, and it will expose hypocrisy, and will take a stand and defend the innocent!
Proverbs 27:5-6 (NKJV)
Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. (6) Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Good News Translation
Better to correct someone openly than to let him think you don’t care for him at all. (6) A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder–watch out!
Love stands for what is right, and will stand up for others when their rights are being violated.
Love will not stand by idly when God and His standards are being attacked. Love will confront wrongdoing in deference to the good of all involved!
How can you tell whether to turn the other cheek or to challenge a situation?
Here’s the deciding factor: When others do you wrong, you don’t retaliate. Remember, love doesn’t take account of the evil done to it; doesn’t pay attention to a suffered wrong.
But love will hold accountable those whose actions hurt others. Love always puts others first. And when someone is being hurt or unjustly dealt with, love will come to their defense.
Love will challenge the behavior of the alcoholic who is being irresponsible and leading his family into poverty or extreme debt.
Love will challenge the person who abuses a child physically, emotionally, or sexually, and will do what is necessary to stop the hurtful actions.
I’ve called law enforcement on a number of occasions when I saw that laws were being broken and pain was being inflicted on the innocent.
When I called the authorities, I was really acting out of love, because love “finds no pleasure in injustice done to others, but joyfully sides with the truth.”
I have stepped in and challenged husbands who for many years physically and psychologically abused their wives.
I’ve encouraged parents to confront the irresponsible child in their 20’s that lives in the home and doesn’t work. The parents were actually acting out of selfish motives to allow this behavior to continue! They were only thinking of themselves, and not of the needed maturity in the life of their son or daughter!
Notice what Paul had to do when a church member chose sinful living over purity:
I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. 2 You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship.
3 Even though I am not with you in person, I am with you in the Spirit. And as though I were there, I have already passed judgment on this man 4 in the name of the Lord Jesus. You must call a meeting of the church. I will be present with you in spirit, and so will the power of our Lord Jesus. 5 Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.
6 Your boasting about this is terrible. Don’t you realize that this sin is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough?
If I choose to say nothing about a dysfunction in my home, choosing to say or do nothing, then I become as dysfunctional as the person committing the offense.
The term codependency or a codependent person refers to the family who sits by and allows the alcoholic etc to ruin the family and the future of the children.
Notice the last part of the chapter:
When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. 10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. 11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.
There are people that I will not associate with! Why? Because what they have said or done has injured the body of Christ, and to fellowship with them sends the signal that I think what they have done is ok.
Notice how Paul deals with a person living an irresponsible life:
But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us.
Did he say take them to lunch and act like all is well?
Did he say leave them in the group or position they are in and act like all is well?
No! He said that we are to withdraw from them.
(7) For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you; (8) nor did we eat anyone’s bread free of charge, but worked with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, (9) not because we do not have authority, but to make ourselves an example of how you should follow us. (10) For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. (11) For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. (12) Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread. (13) But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. (14) And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. (15) Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
There are people that I will not associate with! Why? Because what they have said or done has injured the body of Christ, and to fellowship with them sends the signal that I think what they have done is ok.
Paul deals with a person who is dividing the church.
If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. 11 For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them.
Living Paraphrase
If anyone is causing divisions among you, he should be given a first and second warning. After that have nothing more to do with him, (11) for such a person has a wrong sense of values. He is sinning, and he knows it.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don’t follow the tradition they received from us.
I know that false teachers, like vicious wolves, will come in among you after I leave, not sparing the flock. 30 Even some men from your own group will rise up and distort the truth in order to draw a following.
Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. 15 You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words. 16 At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them.
Love is patient, kind, humble, forgiving, and believes the best on one hand.
On the other hand, love steps in with discipline when a person’s actions hurt others.
Action Points:
1. Are you willing to enact tough love in hurtful relationships in your life?
2. Are you willing to lovingly challenge irresponsibility when it hurts a person or others who are involved?
3. What is the difference in loving your enemy and standing up for what is right?
A God-Honoring Life:
The Other Side Of Love
2.2.2025
Introduction
The love of God is the baseline that is to rule all of our personal interaction.
John 13:34-35 (NKJV)
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
We are to act and respond in love…
We all are imperfect in this. All of us. No exceptions.
Spiritual growth is seen in how we handle relationships. And in how we deal with challenging personal relationship situations.
Spiritual growth is shown not in how we deal with the people we get along with, but how we deal with people who mistreat us, take advantage of us, or do things that rub us the wrong way!
Last Sunday, we examined the importance of loving our enemies: blessing them with our words, doing good to them, and praying for them.
This love the HS placed in us is powerful!
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Today, we are going to address what I call The Other Side of Love.
vs 6 – Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
The Amplified Bible
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Weymouth’s Translation
She finds no pleasure in injustice done to others, but joyfully sides with the truth.
The Living Paraphrase
It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.
The Passion Translation
Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong.
Love is not weak. It is unselfish.
Last week, in addressing loving your enemies I mentioned that when others do you wrong, you don’t retaliate. YOU turn the cheek.
Remember, love doesn’t take account of the evil done to it; it doesn’t pay attention to a personal wrong committed against it.
Love doesn’t make a list of wrongs done to you individually.
But when things happen that affect another individual or group of people, love will hold a person accountable.
God’s love for us is based on His justice…
God could not just forgive and forget our sin! Adam, the first man’s sin affected us all. God HAD to deal with Adam’s sin because of His justice, and because it affected every single human.
Psalms 89:14 (NLT)
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne.
Unfailing love and truth walk before you as attendants.
God doesn’t forgive our sin just because He loves us; His justice demands that He be fair when He forgives; fair to Himself and the laws He established to govern the universe; and fair to His enemies, and fair to man.
You see, towards the human race as a whole, God doesn’t act
as though we did nothing wrong.
His justice and holiness means that He must deal with sin, which is disobedience to His known will. He must deal with our sin by the payment of a just penalty. Jesus took our sin penalty so that we could be freed from sin!
God did not pauperize us when He forgave us. The justice behind His love gives us dignity.
And so when something occurs and it affects others, not just you, then the loving thing to do is to stand with what is right and what is true, and call it out! Be willing to stand for what is right when someone does something that affects a lot of people!
That is not popular in a day when people hide behind an internet wall.
God had to do that with our sin, and Jesus’ sacrifice paid for all of our sin!
The redemptive thing to do when someone’s actions hurt others is to call it out!
The God Kind of Love will challenge hypocrisy, irresponsibility, and sin!
Love is kind to everyone, does not respond in kind to wrongs committed against it, and will be silent toward personal persecution.
But, love will defend the weak and stand for truth when unfair actions hurt others.
Notice Jesus’ attitude towards hypocrisy and injustice:
Mark 11: 15-19 (NKJV)
So they came to Jerusalem. Then Jesus went into the temple and began to drive out those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. 16 And He would not allow anyone to carry wares through the temple. 17 Then He taught, saying to them, “Is it not written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations’? But you have made it a ‘den of thieves.'” 18 And the scribes and chief priests heard it and sought how they might destroy Him; for they feared Him, because all the people were astonished at His teaching. 19 When evening had come, He went out of the city.
Luke 11:37-54 (NLT)
Jesus Criticizes the Religious Leaders
As Jesus was speaking, one of the Pharisees invited him home for a meal. So he went in and took his place at the table. 38 His host was amazed to see that he sat down to eat without first performing the hand-washing ceremony required by Jewish custom. 39 Then the Lord said to him, “You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and wickedness! 40 Fools! Didn’t God make the inside as well as the outside? 41 So clean the inside by giving gifts to the poor, and you will be clean all over. 42 What sorrow awaits you Pharisees! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore justice and the love of God. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things. 43 What sorrow awaits you Pharisees! For you love to sit in the seats of honor in the synagogues and receive respectful greetings as you walk in the marketplaces. 44 Yes, what sorrow awaits you! For you are like hidden graves in a field. People walk over them without knowing the corruption they are stepping on.”
45 “Teacher,” said an expert in religious law, “you have insulted us, too, in what you just said.” 46 “Yes,” said Jesus, “what sorrow also awaits you experts in religious law! For you crush people with unbearable religious demands, and you never lift a finger to ease the burden. 47 What sorrow awaits you! For you build monuments for the prophets your own ancestors killed long ago. 48 But in fact, you stand as witnesses who agree with what your ancestors did. They killed the prophets, and you join in their crime by building the monuments! 49 This is what God in his wisdom said about you: ‘I will send prophets and apostles to them, but they will kill some and persecute the others.’
50 As a result, this generation will be held responsible for the murder of all God’s prophets from the creation of the world—51 from the murder of Abel to the murder of Zechariah, who was killed between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, it will certainly be charged against this generation. 52 What sorrow awaits you experts in religious law! For you remove the key to knowledge from the people. You don’t enter the Kingdom yourselves, and you prevent others from entering.” 53 As Jesus was leaving, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees became hostile and tried to provoke him with many questions. 54 They wanted to trap him into saying something they could use against him.
Jesus showed love by revealing the hypocrisy of the hypocritical religious leaders of His day.
Notice the scriptures’ attitude towards irresponsibility:
Love also stands for truth when dealing with irresponsible people.
It is love to call out irresponsibility in someone when it hurts and affects others.
Proverbs 27:5-6 (NKJV)
Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Message
A spoken reprimand is better than approval that’s never expressed. 6 The wounds from a lover are worth it; kisses from an enemy do you in.
Good News Translation
Better to correct someone openly than to let him think you don’t care for him at all. 6 A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder–watch out!
Proverbs 28:23 (NKJV)
He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue.
The Living Bible
In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.
Message Paraphrase
In the end, serious reprimand is appreciated far more than bootlicking flattery.
Notice how Paul deals with a believer who is setting a bad example for others:
When someone does something that brings harm to others, love will call it out!
2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 (NKJV)
But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us. 7 For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you; 8 nor did we eat anyone’s bread free of charge, but worked with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, 9 not because we do not have authority, but to make ourselves an example of how you should follow us. 10 For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. 11 For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread. 13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. 14 And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
Titus 3: 10-11 (AMPC)
[As for] a man who is factious [a heretical sectarian and cause of divisions], after admonishing him a first and second time, reject [him from your fellowship and have nothing more to do with him], 11 Well aware that such a person has utterly changed (is perverted and corrupted); he goes on sinning [though he] is convicted of guilt and self-condemned.
2 Thessalonians 3:6 (NLT)
And now, dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don’t follow the tradition they received from us.
Sin is like yeast in a batch of dough!
If you do not confront the wrong in a person that may affect others, then do you really love them?
Paul deals with a person who is dividing the church.
Titus 3:10-11 (NLT)
If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. 11 For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them.
Living Paraphrase
If anyone is causing divisions among you, he should be given a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with him, 11 for such a person has a wrong sense of values. He is sinning, and he knows it.
Acts 20:29-30 (NLT)
I know that false teachers, like vicious wolves, will come in among you after I leave, not sparing the flock. 30 Even some men from your own group will rise up and distort the truth in order to draw a following.
Notice how Paul dealt with a believer living in open sin:
1 Corinthians 5:9-11 (NLT)
When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. 10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. 11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.
Here Paul deals with a man who is persecuting him and affecting the church:
2 Timothy 4:14-16 (NKJV)
Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. 15 You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words. 16 At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them.
Love stands for what is right!
And love will speak up when a person’s wrong way of living hurts others!
Bottom line, when people do things that aggravate and affect you, turn your cheek, as Jesus said.
But when someone does something that hurts others, address it!
Action Points:
Do you keep lists in your head and remember when people treat you in a hurtful way?
Is it an act of love to call a person out for their actions that hurts others?
What is the difference between keeping personal lists towards an individual who hurt you and addressing an issue publicly that a person has done that might harm a group of people?
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What Are You Doing With Love? (Part 2)
How do you treat your enemies?
1.26.2025
Review
We have a mandate to love. Period.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
9 For the commandments say, “You must not commit adultery. You must not murder. You must not steal. You must not covet.” These—and other such commandments—are summed up in this one commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.
But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.
For he is not a Jew who is one outwardly, nor is circumcision that which is outward in the flesh; 29 but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, not in the letter; whose praise is not from men but from God.
Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
There is no spiritual growth without growth in love.
If we love our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead.
Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.
8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? 21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.
Every step out of love is a step from light to darkness and sin.
We tie God’s hands, and we invite the demonic ream to hinder life when we do not allow love to rule us!
But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
The love of God shuts down the demonic kingdom!
1. We are called to love people, even those we don’t like.
2. Love is the default we are to live by when others harm us!
3. Love refuses to harbor judgments, bitterness, unforgiveness, and malice when wronged.
Today:
4. Love treats enemies kindly!
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.
Philippians 2:3-4 (TPT)
Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. 4 Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests.
You don’t always have to prove your point.
And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, 25 in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, 26 and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.
2 Timothy 2:23-26 (TPT)
Stay away from all the foolish arguments of the immature, for these disputes will only generate more conflict. 24 For a true servant of our Lord Jesus will not be argumentative but gentle toward all and skilled in helping others see the truth, having great patience toward the immature. 25 Then with meekness you’ll be able to carefully enlighten those who argue with you so they can see God’s gracious gift of repentance and be brought to the truth. 26 This will cause them to rediscover themselves and escape from the snare of Satan who caught them in his trap so that they would carry out his purposes.
The demonic realm is invited to do life with you when you choose strife. Instead, choose love:
So, here is the big question today – How do you treat a person who is like an enemy towards you in their attitudes, their speech, and their behavior?
Matthew 5: 38-44 (NKJV)
You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. 39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. 43 You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.
44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
Paul:
Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Peter:
Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.
Again, listen to Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:
…it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
(44) But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.
This is completely the opposite of what you feel like doing.
Matthew 5:44-48 (MSG)
I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.
Luke 6:27-36 (TPT)
Love Your Enemies
But if you will listen, I say to you, love your enemies and do something wonderful for them in return for their hatred. 28 When someone curses you, bless that person in return. When you are mistreated and harassed by others, accept it as your mission to pray for them. 29 To those who despise you, continue to serve them and minister to them. If someone takes away your coat, give him as a gift your shirt as well. 30 When someone comes to beg from you, give to that person what you have. When things are wrongly taken from you, do not demand they be given back. 31 However you wish to be treated by others is how you should treat everyone else. 32 Are you really showing true love by only loving those who love you back? Even those who don’t know God will do that. 33 Are you really showing compassion when you do good deeds only to those who do good deeds to you? Even those who don’t know God will do that. 34 If you lend money only to those you know will repay you, what credit is that to your character? Even those who don’t know God do that. 35 But love your enemies and continue to treat them well. When you lend money, don’t despair if you are never paid back, for it is not lost. You will receive a rich reward and you will be known as true children of the Most High God, having his same nature. For your Father is famous for his kindness to heal even the thankless and cruel. 36 Show mercy and compassion for others, just as your heavenly Father overflows with mercy and compassion for all.
A Word to my Enemies
You are not really my enemies at all…in reality you are some of the best friends I have.
I speak sincerely when I say that there can be no spiritual growth in believers’ lives without the chastising work of a real enemy. When a friend highlights all my good qualities and praises me from their heart of true friendship, I feel nothing but love for them.
But when I hear of an enemy who has unjustly brought shame upon me, I find that an attitude of self defence and of “righteous indignation” rises up in me to counter this enemy. This response I have to my enemy produces in me a conviction from the Holy Spirit that my response to my enemy is self-centered and carnal. It is then that I can see how wrong I am and I can finally see the things that I didn’t know were in my responses.
When I see how I treat those who are unkind and harsh towards me, the Holy Spirit gives me the urge to repent of my harshness and so with sorrow of heart I cry to God, and He delivers me from what I have seen in my life. My selfish tendencies were hidden, lying dormant, until you, my beloved enemy, brought them to light with your crucifying process.
The prophets of old would never have had the glory of being stoned for the Word of God – no martyr’s crown could ever have been won by early Christians without real enemies.
You see, I cannot crucify myself, and friends will not do it. So it takes you, my enemy, to bring me to the cross that Jesus has asked me to take up as I follow Him. And to the cross I must come, if ever I am to change my responses and see the likeness of Jesus in how I treat others.
But there is much progress yet to make before my life begins to bear the image of Jesus. There is much I must yet learn. And you, my enemy, are teaching me. I have learned that the road to Christlikeness is by the way of the cross. And without you I would not have found the way.
I’m sure if you knew the good your efforts are working out in my life, you would not want to help me so much. But the work is being done, and I have learned to love you because of it. “Love your enemies,” Jesus said, and I wondered how I could do it. But you, my enemy, have taught me how to love. For because of you I have grown in God, increased in His grace, and partaken of His divine nature.
Your work has been sharp and cutting, and many times I was hurt and wounded deeply. But out of these trying experiences I have come forth a better Christian, and further on my way to being an overcomer. I doubt that you will receive any rewards for your lies and your efforts to destroy me, for “woe unto them through whom these offenses come.” But I want you to know that though your loss may be great on the Day of Judgment, I love you and appreciate the ministry you have had in perfecting and changing this life of mine.
Author Unknown
Lastly, here is a compilation of different translations of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that I’ve had in my files since the 1980’s:
Let me describe love. It is slow to lose patience; love stays in difficult relationships with kindness, and it always looks for ways to be constructive. There is no envy in love. It is not possessive and never boils over with jealousy. Love makes no parade of itself; it never boasts, nor does it puff up with pride. Love is never arrogant and never puts itself on display, because it is neither anxious to impress, nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance. Love never gets irritated and is never resentful.
Love holds no grudges, and it keeps no record of evil done to it. Love refuses to be provoked and never harbors evil thoughts.
Love is not rude or grasping or overly sensitive, nor does love search for imperfections and faults in others. Love does not compile statistics of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails. Love celebrates what is real and not what is perverse or incomplete.
Love never does the graceless thing. Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage. Love never insists on its own rights, never irritably loses its temper, and never nurses its wrath to keep it warm. Love is not touchy.
Love can stand any kind of treatment because there are no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust. Love bears up under anything; it perseveres in all circumstances. Love’s first instinct is to believe in people. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best in him, and always stand your ground in defending him. Love never regards anyone or anything as hopeless. Love keeps up hope in everything. Love’s hope never fades.
Love keeps on keeping on! It trusts in God in every situation and expects God to act in all circumstances. Love goes on forever. Nothing can destroy love. Nothing can happen that can break love’s spirit. In fact, it is the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.
Action Points
1. Do you think about love as the most important thing in all of your relationships?
2. Do you seek to respond in love when others do you wrong and say things thst are just not true about you?
3. Do you practice loving those who act like enemies by praying for them and seeking in some way to do something good for them?
4. What do you need to change so that others see the love of God in your life?