A Good Father
6/18/2025
Cameron Peedin

Today is Father’s Day, and I think it would be fitting to discuss the importance of being a good father to our children. Also, I’d like to discuss how God has been the perfect example of a good father to us all along as His sons and daughters.

If you did not have a good father growing up, I want to encourage you to allow God to be the Father you never had through an intimate relationship with Him.

2 Corinthians 6:18 (NKJV)
I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty.

No matter how perfect our earthly fathers may have seemed, they were flawed. In some way or other, our homes were dysfunctional. God wants to show us, through His Word, how an ideal father can and should be.

Where do men learn their masculinity from?

Excerpt from “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge:
Masculinity doesn’t happen by accident; it’s bestowed intentionally. A man learns how to be a man by a man or in the company of other men. He can’t learn it from any other place, other boys, or from the world of women. It has to be from a father figure in his life.

In biblical times, fathers always received the blessing, not from their mothers, but always from their fathers: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

It was very important for a man to receive his blessing from his father.

Masculinity also comes from a father affirming his son of his masculinity and also affirming that he is his son.

Even Jesus needed affirmation from His Heavenly Father.

Matthew 3:17( NKJV)
And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, ‘This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased’.

Paul speaks about Titus, his spiritual son, and affirms him as his spiritual son.

Titus 1:4 (NLT)
I am writing to Titus, my true son in the faith that we share. May God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior give you grace and peace.

Some of us may not have physical sons or daughters, but you have spiritual sons and daughters; your role in their lives is just as important as a physical father.
Where do women get their value from being a woman?

Quote from the book Strong Fathers Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker (30 years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine, and counseling teens and parents)

And I have watched daughters talk to fathers. When you come in the room, they change. Everything about them changes: their eyes, their mouths, their gestures, their body language. Daughters are never lukewarm in the presence of their fathers. They might take their mothers for granted, but not you. They light up – or they cry. They watch you intensely. They hang on your words. They hope for your attention, and they wait for it in frustration – or in despair. They need a gesture of approval, a nod of encouragement, or even a simple eye contact to let them know you care and are willing to help. When she’s in your company, your daughter tries harder to excel. When you teach her, she learns more rapidly. When you guide her, she gains confidence. If you fully understood just how profoundly you can influence your daughter’s life, you would be terrified, overwhelmed, or both. Boyfriends, brothers, even husbands can’t shape her character the way you do. You will influence her entire life because she gives you an authority she gives no other man.

13 Biblical Characteristics of A Good Father

1. Be a provider for your family.

Our Heavenly Father provides for us and is the perfect model of a good father.

Philippians 4:19 (NLT)
And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:31-33 (NLT)
So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

As fathers, we should be providing for our families and model ourselves after Him.

2 Thess. 3:10 (NLT)
Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”

I Timothy 5:8 (NLT)
But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.

Providing goes further than just paying the bills or putting food on the table. As fathers, it’s our responsibility to ensure our family is provided for in every area of life – financially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We are little pastors of our home.

Proverbs 27:23 (NLT)
Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds

Fathers should take regular inventory of the state of their home and pray about the needs of their family.

I know many fathers who provide financially for their family very well, but are not present mentally, emotionally, or spiritually in their homes. And even though they are financially well off, the state of their home is in turmoil.

2. Live your life as a recommendation letter for Jesus.

When you send a letter of recommendation for someone, you represent and validate that person’s life with your word and your recommendation.

2 Cor. 3:2-3 (NLT)
The only letter of recommendation we need is you yourselves. Your lives are a letter written in our hearts; everyone can read it and recognize our good work among you. 3 Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you.This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.

The way you conduct yourself in public and live your life daily is a letter of recommendation to your son or daughter for a relationship with Jesus.

Fathers, you represent a relationship with God to your children. That’s why it is so important that we live our lives with Christ at the center of it all. If we’re not, we only repeat history and what was instilled in us from our fathers instead of our Heavenly Father.

Even though this verse is to the leadership of the church, it is a great example of what a father should be like:

I Timothy 3:2 (NLT)
So a church leader must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife. He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach.

3. Discipline your children

As a good Heavenly Father, God has to discipline us as His children and expects us to do the same to our children.

Hebrews 12:6 (NLT)
For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.

Psalm 94:12 (NLT)
Joyful are those you discipline, LORD, those you teach with your instructions.

You can not be your child’s friend and parent at the same time. You must be a parent first.

Prov. 13:24 (NLT)
Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.

Proverbs‬ ‭23‬:‭13‬-‭14‬ (NLT)
Don’t fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won’t kill them. Physical discipline may well save them from death.

Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Any time I have to discipline Avalyn, I always make sure that I tell her that I love her and that I’m doing it because I love her. I also share this scripture with her and tell her that if I don’t discipline her, it says that I don’t love her.

Never discipline out of anger. Take some time to cool down before disciplining. If you don’t, you could be doing more harm than good.

4. Spend quality time with your children.

God desires for us to spend quality time with Him, and it is modeled in scripture.

James 4:8 (NLT)
Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.

Psalm 63:1 (NLT)
O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 62:8 (NLT)
O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.

When you are with your children physically, be there mentally as well. Put your phone down, and step away from work or social media.

Fathers, have those deep heart-to-heart conversations with your children.

Schedule times you set aside for your children to connect with them on a deeper level, not just surface things.

5. Be their first teacher.

The Holy Spirit is our teacher. If we have to be taught, we have to teach our children.

John 14:26 (NLT)
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

A father should be their children’s teacher. It doesn’t mean that you have to have all the answers, but the things you do know need to be taught by you.

Don’t let the public school system be the first teacher in your child’s life; they need to hear it from you first.

Biblical principles will not be taught in a public school setting. You can expect the complete opposite.

Deut. 6:6-9 (NLT)
And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

6. Be compassionate and tender.

God is tender and slow to get angry. He is a perfect model of how to be a tender, loving, and compassionate father.

Psalm 86:15 (NLT)
But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

Are you slow to get angry, or are you quick to get angry?

If you are distant, angry, and stern as a father, it may have been modeled to you as a child by your father.

There is a time to be stern, but if that’s the way you are all the time, there’s a problem.

Psalm 103:13 (NLT)
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

Put your arm around your child when they have a hard day. Something as simple as that can go a long way. Or ask if they would like to talk about their hard day.

You don’t always have to have the right answer; just knowing you care and are there to listen will go further than you’ll ever know.

Quote from Strong Fathers Strong Daughters:

A daughter identifies easily with her mother, but you (the father) are a mystery to her. You are her first love, so the early years of your relationship with her are crucial. The love you give her is her starting point. You have other loves in your life, but she doesn’t. Every man who enters her life will be compared to you; every relationship she has with a man will be filtered through her relationship with you. If you have a good relationship, she will choose boyfriends who will treat her well. If she sees you as open and warm, she’ll be confident with other men. If you are cold and unaffectionate, she’ll find it hard to express love in a healthy way.

7. Be a man of your word.

God is a perfect example of being a person of His Word and following through with what He has promised.

Numbers 23:19 (NLT)
God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?

Matthew 24:25 (NLT)
Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear.

Do what you say and say what you do.

If you say you’re going to do something, follow through with it. They always remember!

When you do not follow through with promises, there’s a development of distrust with your children. Later in life, they may have trouble trusting their Heavenly Father because of unfulfilled promises by their earthly father. Always remember that fathers inevitably represent God in their lives to their children.

8. Don’t provoke your children.

Eph. 6:4 (NLT)
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

The things that you so easily get angered with in your children are the very things that are, or have been, present in you.

We get so angry at our kids because they act just like us, and we’re mad about it. Then in turn, we provoke them.

9. Love their mother.

Ephesians 5:25 (NLT)
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.

For boys:
How you love their mother sets the stage for how a man will treat his future wife and other women.

For girls:
How you love their mother will let your daughter know how her future husband and other men should treat her.

10. Don’t give up on them.

God has never given up on us, as His children. We should never give up on our children.

2 Peter 3:9 (NLT)
…For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

Luke 15:20-24
So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. 21 His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’ 22 But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. 23 And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, 24 for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

This verse is the exact representation of what our Heavenly Father’s love is for us.

Even through our rebellion, stubbornness, failures … this verse said that he was “filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”

Our God is so full of love and compassion; He will never give up on us, so we should not give up on our children.

Never give up, loving them, pursuing them in a relationship, and praying for them. It’s never too late.

11. Pray for your children.

David praying over his son Solomon:

2 Chronicles 29:19 (NLT)
Give my son Solomon the wholehearted desire to obey all your commands, laws, and decrees, and to do everything necessary to build this Temple, for which I have made these preparations.

Every single day, pray over your family and children privately between you and God, and then also with your family and children in person.

Your family needs to know that their father is their spiritual covering, and they need to see you praying over them.

It should be normal for your children to hear you praying over them every single day.

Encourage them to pray with you about anything that is on their heart.

Joshua 24:15 (NLT)
…But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD.

Pray over your children’s future spouse and your future grandchildren.

12. Speak scriptures over your children.

Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)
For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

God is singing over us with joyful songs. As God sings over us, we should be quoting scripture and even singing scripture over our children.

Examples of good scriptures to confess over your children:

Jer. 29:11 (NLT)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Numbers 6:24-25 (NLT)
May the LORD bless you and protect you. 25 May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you.

2 Tim. 1:7 (NLT)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

13. Be their protector.

Psalm 91:4 (NLT)
He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Psalm 28:7 (NLT)
The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

Just as God is our protector, fathers, we should always be in the mindset of protecting our families: physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Our family should know that we have their back in every situation.

Isaiah 52:12 (NLT)
For the LORD will go ahead of you; yes, the God of Israel will protect you from behind.

They need to hear and see you praying for protection over them every day.

Practical things:
Walking on the sidewalk closest to the road with your children/wife on the inside.
Sit facing the door in a restaurant, and always be aware of your surroundings.
Protect your children’s eyes and ears by actively knowing what they’re listening to, or watching on their phones/tablets. Know who they are talking to online, and what they’re conversations are. Actively check on their internet activity..
Your family needs to know that if anyone messes with them, they’ll have to go through you.

Action Points
○ Create room for God to be the Father you may have never had.
○ Acquire multiple resources to help you become a good father.
■ For Daughter Dads: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker.
■ For Son Dads: Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.
○ Glean from good fathers or parents in the church who are parenting well, and try to meet with them regularly to help you become the father/parent God made you to be.