The God Kind of Love (part 8)

Fifteen Characteristics of the God Kind of Love (3)

Not proud, rude, others first, not angry, offended

Review

Spiritual growth and love go hand in hand!

1 Corinthians 3:1-3 (NKJV)

And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; 3 for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?

Your love life will most probably be tested more than any other area of life.

It’s tested because this God kind of love is so very different than natural human love.

And like the roots of a plant, the tentacles of selfish human love are intertwined into our thinking processes. It is only the process of mind renewal that can remove them.

Our ways of dealing with others, our responses, and our motivations – they all must be transformed by love.

Matthew 24:12 (CEV)

Evil will spread and cause many people to stop loving others.

15 Characteristics of Love from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We covered 5 of the 15 characteristics:

1. Love is willing to suffer a long time – Love suffers long…

2. Love treats people kindly.

3. Love is not jealous.

4. Love does not brag.

Let’s look a bit more at:

5. Love is not proud.

Is not puffed up

The Greek word for puffed up or proud is the word phusioo, and means to inflate.

God resists the proud!

1 Peter 5:5-6 (NKJV)

Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” 6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,

If you can’t humble yourself, God has a way of helping you.

Me – perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfectly polished shoes, car, everything.

A person with the God kind of love ruling them has no need for others to see their accomplishments.

A person living in love may acknowledge success, but knows that all success comes from God.

No self-congratulations are necessary.

Though the God kind of love doesn’t show off or need affirmation, it is also important to note that true humility can accept genuine thanks and applause for good performance.

I learned this in my own life over 45 years ago after performing the special music during a Thursday night church service. Someone came to me and told me how beautiful they thought my voice was and how well I performed the song. To which I replied, It wasn’t me, brother, it was just the Lord!

My friend who complimented me then abruptly took me to a side hallway and told me that I was actually walking in a false humility, that if I were truly self-effacing and humble I would say a simple thank you to any person complimenting my performance. I should afterward get alone and give God all the glory for using me to bless others, deflecting the thanks privately to Him who helped me.

10 Red Signs of Pride:

https://www.instagram.com/p/C6HuV9WsTmN/?img_index=2

1. Pride Loves/Needs To Be Praised.

2. Pride Never Truly Repents.

3. Pride Is Unsubmitted.

4. Pride Is The Best/Better Than Others.

5. Pride Can Never Be Wrong…Ever.

6. Pride Is Very Defensive.

7. Pride Makes Excuses.

8. Pride Is Unteachable.

9. Pride Doesn’t Serve Anyone Or Anything.

10. Pride Read This Top Ten And Thought About Others And Not Themselves.

6. Love is not rude.

The Greek word for rudely is achemoneo, and means to assume a negative form, or to act in an unbecoming way.

Amplified:

it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.

This word has to do with proper social graces.

A loving person will not do or say things, or assume attitudes of which later he or she will be ashamed, or that would bring shame to Jesus and to the kingdom of God.

The God Kind of Love never acts in an ugly, shameful way, with crudeness, violence, off-color language, or anything else disrespectful.

A person walking in the God kind of Love will be diligent to do what is appropriate for the moment or the occasion. And the God kind of love always maintains good manners in all situations.

To get real with this one, a person walking in the God kind of love will never display coarse or crude behavior in public (cursing, slang, off-color language, body noises such as burping, flatulence, excessive or not enough clothing, etc.)

Our present culture desperately needs some lessons in this!

 

A loving person will not do or say things, or assume attitudes of which later he or she will be ashamed.

Love works hard at doing what is fitting, appropriate, and mannerly.

7. The God kind of love puts others first.

Does not seek its own.

Amplified:

Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking;

The God kind of love is not self-seeking in that it brings with it a self-last characteristic.

The God kind of love causes us to seek the welfare of others before ourselves and does not calculate what benefits we may gain in return.

Just a reminder to all of us that the major effect of Adam’s sin on all of us is self-centeredness.

In the gospels, Jesus continually encourages us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him.

In his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie’s thesis in the book is that people think of themselves first, and that if you want to help others, get them to talk about themselves, and show them that you value their thoughts and opinions.

With the love of God entering us in the New Birth, we have the potential to become others-minded.

Mrs. C. Nuzum: The Life of Faith: (Mrs. C. Nuzum, The Life of Faith (Springfield, MO: Gospel Publishing House, 1928, 1956), p. 85).

How many of us, when we have a real right to a place, time, honor, benefit, or possession, refuse to strive for it, refuse even to keep it, but cheerfully, gladly let another have it.

 

For instance, this quality allows us to keep cool when we’re not recognized for difficult work we accomplish for our company, or when someone else is recognized for work that we performed.

It allows us to be genuinely excited when we are passed over for a promotion and someone else, with less skill and ability, is promoted.

When the God kind of love rules supreme, we lose sight of ourselves, and think of God and others first.

William Barclay

In the last analysis, there are in this world only two kinds of people – those who always insist upon their privileges and those who always remember their responsibilities; those who are always thinking of what life owes them and those who never forget what they owe to life. It would be the key to almost all the problems which surround us today if people would think less of their rights and more of their duties. Whenever we start thinking about ‘our place’, we are drifting away from Christian love.

(Barclay, William. The Letters to the Corinthians (The New Daily Study Bible) (p. 143). Westminster John Knox Press. Kindle Edition).

8. Love will not respond with anger and offense.

Is not provoked.

Amplified:

it is not touchy or fretful or resentful;

The Greek word is paroxuno and means to sharpen alongside or figuratively to exasperate.

It means to rouse someone to anger.

This is when we get upset at another’s actions or words, and we become sharp, pointed, and irritable in our responses to them.

There is overt and covert anger. There is anger that is obvious like sharp responses in return with someone you disagree with, and then anger that shows in more subtle ways – like giving the silent treatment; snide, critical remarks; sarcastic responses. All of these may stem from anger.

Being offended with someone is also a form of anger. The root of this may be self-centered thinking.

Psalm 119:165 reads, Blessed are they that who love thy law, and nothing shall offend them.

Mrs. C. Nuzum: (Mrs. C. Nuzum, The Life of Faith (Springfield, MO: Gospel Publishing House, 1928, 1956), p. 85).

If I am offended, no matter how much cause I have to be offended, the problem with me is that I have not the love which nothing will offend.

Amplified gives the words touchy, fretful, and resentful as nuances of being provoked.

How do you feel around a person that is touchy?

You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, that you have to watch every single thing you say. You have to think about the angle of how and what you are saying so the person will not be offended!

Touchy – Definition

1. Apt to take offense on slightest provocation; irritable 2. requiring caution, tactfulness, or expert handling; precarious, risky. 3. easily ignited.

If you are touchy, you are probably thinking more of yourself than others, and you probably have underlying unresolved issues.

It may be a teacher, a coach, a parent, a boss, a spouse, but you have something unresolved somewhere, and it shines through you and makes you appear to others as a touchy person!

And fretful and resentful are the friends of touchy.

Fretful – Definition

Let’s look first of all at Fret: 1) To feel or express worry, annoyance, discontent, or the like. 2) to torment, irritate, annoy, or vex. 3) to have an irritated state of mind.

Fretful

disposed or quick to fret; irritable or peevish.

Resentful:

The feeling of resentment, or the feeling of displeasure at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.

Touchiness, fretfulness, and resentment are all rooted in anger.

All of us must master anger if we are going to have successful relationships.

Anger is an emotion we all have.

Anger is a sign that you are engaged with life, as opposed to a person who NEVER gets angry about anything. That is a person that has in some way been kept from being expressive by a person who is overbearing – a mom or a dad, or a self-centered spouse!

Anger in itself is not wrong. It’s what you do with it that makes it wrong.

Jesus was angry but never sinned. He got upset with the religious Pharisees of His day because they were using the temple as a way to make money. He overturned the money changers tables, let the animals go, and slashed a whip in the air as He confronted their deceitful and blasphemous way of making money.

When is anger wrong? Anger that is based on self-centered motives is wrong – like when you don’t get your way in a group of people, or when you are held up by circumstances beyond your control.

Anger is right when it is directed toward injustice done to someone else!

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NLT)

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Proverbs mentions anger several times:

Proverbs 14:29 (NLT)

People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.

Proverbs 25:28 (NLT)

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.

Proverbs 29:11 (NLT)

Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.

Proverbs 29:22 (NLT)

An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT)

Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.

Ask God to help you control anger.

Deal with bitter roots!

Don’t respond to someone until you have love, joy, and peace inside.

In my young years I would go into a room and shut the door until I could control my emotions.

Even now, I tell the people around me if something makes me upset.

Action Points:

1. How do you keep pride in check in your life?
2. Do you feel the need for others to see your accomplishments?
3. What in your actions could be interpreted by others as rude?
4. Ask people who know you if they think you are self-focused or others-focused.
5. How do you control your anger?
6. Are you easily offended?