A God-Honoring Life: Tough Love
February 9, 2025A God-Honoring Life
Tough Love
2.9.2025
Introduction
The love of God is the baseline that is to rule all of our personal interaction.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
We are to act and respond in love…
The Love of God is not something we feel, it’s something that we do.
Do the loving thing…
We all are imperfect in this. All of us. No exceptions.
Spiritual growth is seen in how we handle relationships. And in how we deal with challenging personal relationship situations.
Spiritual growth is shown not in how we deal with the people we get along with, but how we deal with people who mistreat us, take advantage of us, or do things that rub us the wrong way!
A couple of weeks ago I talked about loving our enemies.
Last week we began talking about the other side of love.
Because God loves us, He corrects us!
No one will love you the way God does, and no one will shoot straight with you like He does either!
And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you.
6 For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” 7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. 9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? 10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
In our relationships, there is a place for tough love.
vs 6 – Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
The Amplified Bible
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Yes, love is kind and caring, but love must also confront when another person’s actions hurt others.
When we are persecuted for being a believer, we turn the cheek, we love our enemy.
But when someone’s actions harm others, we must speak up!
Love stands for what is right, and it will expose hypocrisy, and will take a stand and defend the innocent!
Proverbs 27:5-6 (NKJV)
Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. (6) Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Good News Translation
Better to correct someone openly than to let him think you don’t care for him at all. (6) A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder–watch out!
Love stands for what is right, and will stand up for others when their rights are being violated.
Love will not stand by idly when God and His standards are being attacked. Love will confront wrongdoing in deference to the good of all involved!
How can you tell whether to turn the other cheek or to challenge a situation?
Here’s the deciding factor: When others do you wrong, you don’t retaliate. Remember, love doesn’t take account of the evil done to it; doesn’t pay attention to a suffered wrong.
But love will hold accountable those whose actions hurt others. Love always puts others first. And when someone is being hurt or unjustly dealt with, love will come to their defense.
Love will challenge the behavior of the alcoholic who is being irresponsible and leading his family into poverty or extreme debt.
Love will challenge the person who abuses a child physically, emotionally, or sexually, and will do what is necessary to stop the hurtful actions.
I’ve called law enforcement on a number of occasions when I saw that laws were being broken and pain was being inflicted on the innocent.
When I called the authorities, I was really acting out of love, because love “finds no pleasure in injustice done to others, but joyfully sides with the truth.”
I have stepped in and challenged husbands who for many years physically and psychologically abused their wives.
I’ve encouraged parents to confront the irresponsible child in their 20’s that lives in the home and doesn’t work. The parents were actually acting out of selfish motives to allow this behavior to continue! They were only thinking of themselves, and not of the needed maturity in the life of their son or daughter!
Notice what Paul had to do when a church member chose sinful living over purity:
I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. 2 You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship.
3 Even though I am not with you in person, I am with you in the Spirit. And as though I were there, I have already passed judgment on this man 4 in the name of the Lord Jesus. You must call a meeting of the church. I will be present with you in spirit, and so will the power of our Lord Jesus. 5 Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.
6 Your boasting about this is terrible. Don’t you realize that this sin is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough?
If I choose to say nothing about a dysfunction in my home, choosing to say or do nothing, then I become as dysfunctional as the person committing the offense.
The term codependency or a codependent person refers to the family who sits by and allows the alcoholic etc to ruin the family and the future of the children.
Notice the last part of the chapter:
When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. 10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. 11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.
There are people that I will not associate with! Why? Because what they have said or done has injured the body of Christ, and to fellowship with them sends the signal that I think what they have done is ok.
Notice how Paul deals with a person living an irresponsible life:
But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us.
Did he say take them to lunch and act like all is well?
Did he say leave them in the group or position they are in and act like all is well?
No! He said that we are to withdraw from them.
(7) For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you; (8) nor did we eat anyone’s bread free of charge, but worked with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, (9) not because we do not have authority, but to make ourselves an example of how you should follow us. (10) For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. (11) For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. (12) Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread. (13) But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. (14) And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. (15) Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
There are people that I will not associate with! Why? Because what they have said or done has injured the body of Christ, and to fellowship with them sends the signal that I think what they have done is ok.
Paul deals with a person who is dividing the church.
If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. 11 For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them.
Living Paraphrase
If anyone is causing divisions among you, he should be given a first and second warning. After that have nothing more to do with him, (11) for such a person has a wrong sense of values. He is sinning, and he knows it.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from all believers who live idle lives and don’t follow the tradition they received from us.
I know that false teachers, like vicious wolves, will come in among you after I leave, not sparing the flock. 30 Even some men from your own group will rise up and distort the truth in order to draw a following.
Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. 15 You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words. 16 At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them.
Love is patient, kind, humble, forgiving, and believes the best on one hand.
On the other hand, love steps in with discipline when a person’s actions hurt others.
Action Points:
1. Are you willing to enact tough love in hurtful relationships in your life?
2. Are you willing to lovingly challenge irresponsibility when it hurts a person or others who are involved?
3. What is the difference in loving your enemy and standing up for what is right?
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