Is Love a Part of Your Life Foundation? (part 5)

Fifteen Characteristics of Love (part 1)

Love is Patient!

6.2.2024

Review

In a harsh world, we are called to love. We are SALT and LIGHT.

There is no spiritual growth without growth in love.

A step out of love is a step out of light into spiritual darkness.

We are to be an antidote to the crude, harsh, biting culture we live in.

John 13: 34-35 (NKJV)

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

Part 1 – We covered 5 things about love:

1. Jesus gave the Jews two commandments to love that absorb the TEN.

2. Jesus gave believers a new commandment which, if obeyed, fulfills all others.

3. Love cures strife and keeps the dark kingdom out of your life.

4. Jesus introduced the concept of loving your enemies to the disciples.

5. This love is like an alien to our world.

Part 2 – We looked at 16 things you should do with love..

Every relational problem has its answer in love.

Today: 15 Characteristics of Love from 1 Corinthians 13

This love that God has given us is deeper than friendship, deeper than feelings, deeper than sexual attraction. It is a love that puts itself last…

It is an action, not a feeling!

We can love our enemies because we can do the loving thing!

1 John 3:18 (NKJV)

18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

1 John 3:18 (GW)

Dear children, we must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words.

1 John 3:18 (Int’l English ERV)

My children, our love should not be only words and talk. No, our love must be real. We must show our love by the things we do.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NKJV)

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails…

Amplified:

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6) It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

1 Corinthians 13:4

1. Love is willing to suffer a long time.

Love suffers long…

Amplified:

Love endures long and is patient and kind.

Notice that love suffers long.

That is, love is patient.

There are 2 Greek words for patience in the NT.

One is patience in circumstances and the other is patience with people.

Makrothumia means being long tempered.

Definition

To bear long with the frailties, offenses, injuries, and provocations of others without murmuring, fretting, or resentment.

 

The quality of self-restraint in the face of provocation which does not hastily retaliate or promptly punish.

It is the willingness to restrain yourself for the sake of another person.

It is giving up your own rights and privileges.

The fourth-century church father John Chrysostom said that it is the word used of those who are wronged and who have it easily in their power to avenge themselves and yet who will not do it. (Barclay, William. The Letters to the Corinthians (The New Daily Study Bible) (pp. 140-141). Westminster John Knox Press. Kindle Edition).

Examples:

Jesus dealing with Judas.

Paul dealing with the girl in Acts 16 (This she did many days).

David dealing with Saul.

God dealing with us!

Longsuffering is at the very heart of the nature of God.

It’s a part of the nature of God imparted to us in the New Birth.

 

Since longsuffering is a part of God’s nature, let’s look at its references in relation to God:

 

Exodus 34:6

And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth,

 

Nehemiah 9:16-17 – Amplified

But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their necks, and did not heed Your commandments. (17) They refused to obey, nor were they mindful of Your wonders and miracles which You did among them; but they stiffened their necks and in their rebellion appointed a captain, that they might return to their bondage [in Egypt]. But You are a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great steadfast love; and You did not forsake them.

 

Psalm 86:15

But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.

 

Psalm 145:8

The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy.

 

Romans 2:4

Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?

 

1 Peter 3:19-20

y whom also He went and preached to the spirits in prison,

20 who formerly were disobedient, when once the Divine longsuffering waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight souls, were saved through water.

 

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

 

2 Peter 3:15

and consider that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation — as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you,

Psalms 145:8 (NLT)

The LORD is merciful and compassionate,

slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.

Psalms 103:8-9 (NLT)

The LORD is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. 9 He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever.

Notice the references to this character trait in the NT:

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

 

1 Thessalonians 5:14

Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.

 

James 5:7-8

Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. (8) You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

 

 

2 Corinthian 6:6

by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love,

 

Ephesians 4:1-2

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, (2) with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,

 

Colossians 1:9-11

For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; (10) that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; (11) strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy;

 

Colossians 3:12-13

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; (13) bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

 

1 Timothy 1:16

However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.

 

2 Timothy 3:10

But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance,

 

2 Timothy 4:2

Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching.

Long temperedness enables you to put up with those who do things that are potentially offensive and hurtful, and put up with it with a smile!

William Barclay Quote

(Barclay, William. The Letters to the Corinthians (The New Daily Study Bible) (pp. 140-141). Westminster John Knox Press. Kindle Edition).

The American Baptist Harry Emerson Fosdick points out that no one treated the President, Abraham Lincoln, with more contempt than did his secretary for war, Edwin Stanton. He called him ‘a low cunning clown’, he nicknamed him ‘the original gorilla’ and said that the traveler and explorer Paul Du Chaillu was a fool to wander about Africa trying to capture a gorilla when he could have found one so easily at Springfield, Illinois. Lincoln said nothing. He made Stanton his war minister because he was the best man for the job, and he treated him with every courtesy. The years wore on. The night came when the assassin’s bullet murdered Lincoln in the theater. In the little room to which the President’s body was taken stood that same Stanton, and, looking down on Lincoln’s silent face, he said through his tears: ‘There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen.’ The patience of love had conquered in the end.

Every single day, we need patience with people!

And the Father has placed makrothumia in our hearts to help us as we interact with those who lack the grace of kindness and social etiquette.

Often, God will place you with people that will help you be long tempered!

Long lines, airline check-ins, going through security, DMV, etc, are all wonderful places where you can learn to develop some strong long suffering.

The natural human tendency is to be impatient. The fleshly, human you and me want to be quick to judge and quick to speak.

James says we are to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

When I first started pastoral ministry in 1984, I found that patience was in short order in me. When I became personal ministry director at a large church in Tulsa, my job was to talk to people.

Immediately I found that I practiced ego-speak. That is, while people were talking, I was thinking about how I would respond instead of what the person was saying.

I found myself again and again having to ask a person to repeat a sentence because I was focusing on my response and their words.

Work on it.

Patience includes learning to listen without trying to respond. It involves accepting your differences with another person and how they do things without judging why they think or act the way they do or trying to change them.

People unlike us often help us the most!

Back in the late 90’s when our kids were small, Susan and I were at a seafood restaurant eating lunch together. It was a life-changing moment for me. She said, “Mitch, I don’t need for you to fix me, I just need for you to listen to me!”

We break the impatience habit a step at a time.

1. Catch yourself after an act of impatience with a person. Tell them you are sorry for your actions, and ask them to forgive you.

Then, go to the Word and think about the scriptures on patience. Meditate them. Ask God to help you become patient.

2. Catch yourself when you are in the middle of an impatient episode with a person.

Stop yourself when you notice it, and then tell the person that you were wrong and ask for their forgiveness.

Confess the impatience to the Lord, and ask Him to remind you of the need to be patient and listen!

3. Catch yourself before you act impatiently. It takes time for this to occur!

Don’t give up on the process! Don’t give up on yourself.

Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT)

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Ephesians 4:21-24 (NLT)

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

Colossians 3:9-13 (NKJV)

Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, 11 where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.

12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

Romans 13:14 (NKJV)

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

Action Points:

1. Are you patient with life in general? What do you need to change and become more patient with people?

A Word to my Enemies

 

You are not really my enemies at all…in reality you are some of the best friends I have.

 

I speak in sincerity and truth, there can be no perfection in the lives of God’s elect without the chastising work of a real enemy. When a friend extols all my good virtues and praises me from their heart of true friendship, I feel nothing but love for them. But when I hear of an enemy who has unjustly brought shame upon me, there rises up a spirit of defending myself, and a spirit of “righteous indignation” to refute the enemy. It is then that the wrongness of my own spirit I see in me, the things I did not know were there before. With repenting and sorrow of heart I cry to God, and He delivers me from that which I have seen in my life. It was hidden, lying dormant, until you, my beloved enemy brought it to light with your crucifying process. The prophets of old would never have had the glory of being stoned for the Word of God – no martyr’s crown could ever have been won by early Christians without real enemies.

 

You see, I cannot crucify myself, and my friends will not do it. So it takes you, my enemy, to bring me to the cross. And to the cross I must come, if ever I am to come to the glory of perfection. But I have much progress yet to make before coming to the image of my lovely Jesus. There is much I must yet learn. And you, my enemy, are teaching me. I have learned that the road to glory is by the way of the cross. Without you I would not have found the way. I’m sure if you knew the good your efforts are working out in my life, you would not want to help me so much. But the work is being done, and I have learned to love you because of it. “Love your enemies” He said, and I wondered how I could do it. But you have taught me. For because of you I have grown in God, increased in His grace, and partaken of His divine nature.

 

Your work has been sharp and cutting, and many times I was hurt and wounded deeply. But out of these trying experiences I have come forth a better Christian, and further on my way to being an overcomer. I doubt that you will receive any rewards for your lies and your efforts to destroy me, for “woe unto them through whom these offenses come.” But I want you to know that though your loss may be great on the Day of Judgment, I love you and appreciate the ministry you have had in perfecting this life of mine.

 

Author Unknown